Equanimity

Most of us do not have an equal attitude towards living beings. We are kinder to people we like than to people whom we dislike, and we are indifferent towards strangers. If we look deeply, we will see that we label people we like as friends because they like us, praise us, do things we like. We label people as enemies when they dislike us, criticise us, hurt us and do things we find unpleasant. As for people who have not harmed nor benefited us, we label them as strangers. In this way, we generate an uneven state of mind towards others.

Is it harmful to have such an uneven state of mind? When we "cling" onto a friend, we nourish our delusion of attachment. When we encounter our enemy, we strengthen our delusions such as anger or fear. With strangers, we generate boredom. How could our mind be happy and peaceful if we are constantly subjecting ourselves to such discriminations which generate delusions? With such a mind, it will not be feasible to develop the mind of enlightenment, Bodhicitta.

Is it possible to develop an equal attitude towards every living being? Of course, it is possible. How? By changing the way we look at living beings.

i) Consider every living being beyond one lifespan: our enemy in this life may have been our benefactor in our past lives.

ii) Recognize the impermanent nature of all our relationships.

iii) Recollect that every living being has been our mother in our previous lives and has been kind to us.

iv) Appreciate that, like us, all living beings wish for happiness and not suffering. As every living being is equally afflicted by suffering in cyclic existence, why should some deserve more of our compassion and love than others?

v) Reflect on whose view is correct if we and our enemy have equally bad perceptions about one another?

vi) Meditate on emptiness of inherent existence. Friends, enemies and strangers are labelled by our mind, in dependence on a valid basis.

Once we develop equanimity, our delusions such as attachment, anger and ignorance will naturally decrease since we have equalize the object of our emotions. In fact, we will reap its immediate benefit when we feel more relaxed and are able to put up with disagreement by people.

Sources: "Path to Englightenment in Tibetan Buddhism" by Geshe Acharya Thubten Loden and "The Essential Nectar: Meditations on the Buddhist Path" by Geshe Rabten