As a start, let's understand reality by using the example of a dream. In a dream, we have a sense of being real, living in a world where there are things we feel attracted or averse to, depending on how they appear to us. As long as we do not realize that it is only a dream, we will take everything in the dream as real and respond to it accordingly. For example, when we dream of being burnt, we feel the pain although in reality, nothing has really happened. We suffer because we identify ourselves with the person in the dream. As soon as we are aware that it is only a dream, our pain disappears. Our suffering in the dream only arose from a lack of awareness that we, the person in the dream is unreal. It has no separate, independent and lasting Self of its own.Similarly, in life, we unconsiously cling onto a Self that is perceived to be separate from everything, independent and lasting. In reality, we are interconnected, dependent on others and changing from moment to moment. Because of our clinging to such a Self that does not accord with reality, our negative emotions arise easily, making us suffer. They in turn cause us to act inappropriately, and as a result, we have to face undesirable consequences of our actions.
To free ourselves from experiencing sufferings, we have to give up our strong and ingrained habit of clinging onto our body and mind as a separate, independent and lasting Self. We have to first realize what we are clinging on, be aware of its false nature, and reflect as well as familarise ourselves, as much as possible, with the true nature of our Self.
Sources: "Progressive Stages of Meditation on Emptiness" by Khenpo Tsultrim Gyamtso Rinpoche, and my reflections and knowledge on Buddhist Philosophy
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